One of the most important lessons we
learn as we mature in our walk is to “. . .speak the truth in love, growing in
every way more and more like Christ” (Eph. 4:15 ). If we
want others to hear the truth that we are speaking, we know that love is the
way to win their hearts.
But as I’ve pondered this verse, I also
thought about when I’m on the other end of truth – the one to whom truth is
being spoken. Do I also strive to truly hear truth spoken into my life?
Let’s be honest – each of us can
recount moments when truth has been spoken to us and frankly, we didn’t like
it. Maybe it was the way the person said it. Maybe we really didn’t
agree with what they were saying. Or maybe they hit a chord and deep down
we knew they were right.
How can we be good hearers of truth?
By that I mean, how do we respond well when someone has spoken truth to
us? Maybe even if it was spoken in a way that we don’t want to hear it?
First, we must take anything that is
said to us to the Lord.
I remember in my early 20’s, I was
working under a couple of younger pastors. We were all “green” in our
leadership and experience. There were times that they saw things in me
that absolutely needed to be addressed. But because I was an early 20-something
woman and they were late 20-something men, there was more than one conversation
where they tried to speak into my life and I ended up in tears.
I’d go to the Lord in hurt and
frustration. “Why are they saying these
things, Lord? They’ve hurt my
feelings! I want to quit!” But the Lord was about to respond in a way I
wasn’t expecting.
“It does not matter how they deliver it to you - if they are speaking truth, you are responsible for it."
Umm…ouch. That was a hard thing to hear. But in that season, the Lord did a deep work
in me. God didn’t allow my focus to be on how they spoke to me, but instead on the truth that they were speaking. If they
had spoken truth, even if I didn’t like how they said it, it was truth that I
was responsible for before God.
That is not to say that anyone has a
right to willfully be unkind or abusive in the name of speaking truth.
Confrontation can be a difficult thing for most of us. If we only focus
on how someone speaks to us, we may miss the fact that there is truth for us to
hear. That is where we must come before the Lord to find healing for any
hurt, but also be willing to have an honest examination of our own hearts.
Let me also clear about this – when we
hear difficult things, it doesn’t always mean the person is speaking
truth. There are times when people say
things out of their own motives, out of their own pain or broken
perspectives. That is why it’s important
to have godly, wise friends; those who love us enough to tell us the truth when
we’re wrong and who also encourage us to see the truth when we have been
wronged. Both are important! The bottom line is we must take anything that
others say to us before the Lord and trusted friends to see if there is truth
to what is being said. Simply denying it
because I don’t like what was said or how it was said can, in the end, hurt me
the most.
Second, we must remember that when truth
is spoken for us to hear, it is because of God’s love for us. Hebrews
12:6-8 in The Message says,
“My
dear child don't shrug off God's discipline. . .it's the child he loves that he
disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects. God is
educating you; that's why you must never drop out. . .while we were children,
our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us,
training us to live God's holy best. At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It
always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off
handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their
relationship with God.”
There is a great purpose God has for
the truth that is spoken into our lives. Because He loves us, He
disciplines and corrects us, and sometimes that correction will come through a
brother or sister in Christ.
I pray that we become willing to
lovingly hear truth – even when it is not easy, because that is one way that we
become mature in the Lord. It forces us to dig deeply into God, to
wrestle with Him through hurt or questions and yet truly look long and hard
into the mirror He holds up in front of us. When truth is there, I want
to learn from it! I want to grow to be more of who God wants me to be!
Mark 4:23 says, “If anyone
has ears to hear, let him hear.” May we become people who strive to hear
the truth of God in our lives!
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