Bearing One Another's Burdens

Over the past year I have experienced a great deal of personal struggle in the midst of a prolonged season of trial and tribulation. Through this season, Jen are I are both incredibly grateful for the community that surrounds us – those who have prayed for us, given to us, listened to us and cried with us during these difficult days.  We know we would not have made it without them! 

I have also noticed that those who have chosen to come alongside us as supporters, partners and friends are too beginning to struggle with the length of time and continuing nature of this ongoing struggle.  I’m sure they wrestle with wondering how many times can they ask me the same question – "any news on the job front?"   Even I feel the frustration of having very little to share with regards to an update and recognize that the redundancy of the request becomes taxing – please continue to pray for breakthrough – which thus far has not come.

I almost feel guilty continuing to ask for their support and prayers. I begin to question whether my endeavors are in God’s will or if somehow I am enlisting the help of all these folks for a lost cause that is clearly not in God’s plan.

But then I remember the stories of the Old Testament, the heroes of the faith that endured long periods of struggle before entering into the time of promise and fulfillment. Guys like Abraham, Joseph and David.

Abraham was given a promise of a son, an heir, who would be the source of a family of descendants that would be as numerous as the sands on the seashore. Yet it took 24 years for the promise to be fulfilled.

Joseph was given the dream of power and authority at the age of 17 but did not see it realized until he was 39 and only after experiencing being sold into slavery, imprisonment and false accusations.    

David was chosen as the next king of Israel and rightfully anointed by the high priest, Samuel, but did not experience his rightful coronation for almost 20 years! And during that time of struggle was being chased by the current king to be put to death for no other reason except jealousy.

Why is it that we, as Christians, have forgotten about the fruit of the Spirit known as long-suffering? Why is that we tend to expect God to work quickly with regards to our requests and assume that our trials will be over ‘lickity split’? Where did we get the idea that promises will be fulfilled in the ‘blink of an eye’ and that prolonged struggle is a bad thing?

The scripture seems to communicate something very different. Jesus says, “in this world you will have suffering”. The apostle James tells us, “count it all joy when you fall into various trials”. And the apostle Paul challenges us to “glory in tribulations”.

If our challenge is to walk in the fruit of the Spirit – which definitely includes long-suffering – and to endure trials and tribulations so that our character is shaped, molded and matured, then we must change the way we think about a season of difficulty and instead of praying for deliverance we must pray for strength to successfully endure.

And just as important, we must change the way we come alongside one another and walk through prolonged seasons of turmoil and difficulty. In the book of Galatians Paul puts it this way, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ”. (Galatians 6:2)

I was reading through the book of Romans, specifically chapter 12, and was completely blown away by something I had never truly paid attention to before – the call to stand with our fellow believers:

        “Don’t copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think…don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves…just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other…Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them…Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other…Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality…Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:2-5; 9-15)

The challenge is to truly come alongside a friend, family member or loved one who is caught in the middle of a storm and walk with them, to help bear their burdens through prayer, conversation, encouragement, tears, and most of all presence. Look at the phrases used in the Romans passage – “Don’t pretend to love, really do it; with genuine affection; Be patient in trouble and keep on praying; Be ready to help; Weep with those who weep.”

I know for me this used to be a challenge. Often times because of my busyness I just want to drop in, say hi, get the Cliff’s notes version of how they are doing and what’s going on, possibly pray and then move on. Yet the scripture is calling me to something very different – full involvement.

I mentioned that this used to be a challenge. Now having experienced a prolonged season of struggle, I have a completely new perspective. I now welcome the chance to come alongside. I have a full appreciation for a ‘cold drink’ of fellowship in the midst of a ‘parched desert’ of a day. I now recognize the need for prayer support and simple conversation even if there is no new news or any change in the current situation. Just having someone there to help bear the burden is a tremendous blessing and truly a ‘kiss on the forehead’.

We don’t need to be people who have all the answers, or folks who can fix the problem by just tweaking a few things. Instead, we need to be people who love and want to help by simply being present. Be there to pray. Be there to listen. Be there to encourage. Be there to cry. But most importantly, be there.