Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice

When we are the ones facing suffering, it is so encouraging when there are those who will suffer with us.  Who come alongside in the midst of our own pain and grief to be there, to listen and pray, to encourage and give to us in our times of need.  It is the epitome of Romans 12:15, which says, “. . .and weep with those who weep.”

But there are times the Lord has drawn my attention to the first part of that verse, “Rejoice with those who rejoice. . .”  It’s not always as easy as it sounds.

Back in July of 2000, I had a miscarriage.  We had been trying to get pregnant for six months, so we were ecstatic that April to discover we were expecting!  But in July, our world felt like it crashed in.  We went to our 10 week check up, and the doctor could not find a heartbeat.  After having an emergency ultrasound, the doctor’s face told us before his words could:  our baby had died.  We were beyond shocked and numb.  Immediately after it happened, I remember feeling like I would see pregnant women EVERYWHERE – at the mall, at church, walking down the street.  I couldn’t get away from them.  It just felt like a continual painful reminder of my now-empty womb.

Another reminder of my loss was that my beloved sister was now expecting my nephew.  We had been so excited to share our pregnancies together . . . and now that was over.  I remember her telling me later how awkward she felt at first, wanting to share things with me, but being afraid that I would be sad.  And I remember wanting to be excited for her, but grieving over the fact that I was no longer experiencing what she was.

In those days we had a choice – and we chose to live out this verse.  My sister cried with me and grieved over the loss of her niece or nephew.  And I chose to rejoice with her over the life growing inside of her.  This difficult and painful situation could have driven a wedge between my sister and me.  Instead, living out this verse brought incredible peace to both of us.  And I was blessed to get pregnant again very quickly.  So we were soon able to truly share our pregnancies and rejoice together again!

In this long, difficult season we have currently been in, I find myself faced with the choice to rejoice with others again and again.  I have watched friends and family receive some pretty incredible blessings.  Some have received phenomenal job opportunities and promotions.  Some have experienced miraculous provision.  Others have experienced God-ordained favor that has opened doors for them.  And then there are those who share with me how they are rightly-grateful for all that God has given them or done for them.

Now I’m going to be honest – sometimes the conversation that goes on inside my head when I hear their good news is pretty ugly.  Sometimes I feel jealous.  Sometimes I question God, “Why not us?  Why can’t we experience blessing?”  It’s hard to rejoice over someone’s great deal on their new car when our cars are slowly dying and we can’t afford to do anything about it!

Sometimes it seems that seeing what someone else has reminds us of everything we don’t have.   

But that’s where the problem starts, isn’t it?  Focusing on what others have makes me forget to be thankful for what I have.  And there are times when I accuse God of not being as good to me as He’s being to someone else.  

Romans 1:21 says this:

^{“. . .} because that, knowing God, they glorified Him not as God, neither gave thanks; but became vain in their reasonings, and their senseless heart was darkened.”

When I accuse God of being ungenerous with me, I am not glorifying Him as the God that He is – a wildly passionate, over-the-top-giving God.  My reasoning is tainted by my lack of thankfulness.  This verse says that our hearts are darkened by these kinds of thoughts!

But when I change my thoughts and become truly thankful for what I have – grateful to God for the provision I have experienced, the care He has shown me, the abundance His presence brings – then it heals my broken view of God.  I see that He has always abundantly given to me, even when it’s not in the ways that I want Him to do it.  And in that process, it becomes easier to be thankful for what He has allowed others to have, too.

I have found that I cannot manufacture rejoicing with others – only the Holy Spirit can work that in my heart.  I come before the Lord, confessing my jealousy, my hurt and my sadness.  But then I invite Him to change my heart.  I choose to recount – out loud – ALL of the things I have to be thankful for, because I’m the one who needs the reminder.  And then I find God’s healing touch does a miracle in me. 

I remember that He DOES love me, no matter what my life looks like.

I’m reminded of His goodness, even when my life looks bad.

I am able to not just endure the good news of others, but truly rejoice with those who rejoice.   

And then I get to experience the miracle of faith the Holy Spirit deposits in my heart – believing that there will come a day when others will rejoice with us, too!