Are You Pregnant With Promise?

It was the Christmas season of 1991.  Thousands of Foursquare youth were gathering from all around the nation to meet together for a gathering called Summit ’91.  It was an incredible conference filled with great songs, awesome teachings and new friendships!

I remember distinctly a workshop that I attended at that gathering.  The woman (whose name I don’t remember or I would give her a shout out!) talked about how Mary had been pregnant with Promise.  The Holy Spirit had divinely placed within her a part of God’s amazing, redemptive plan.

She went on to say that each of us is pregnant with something, too.  Each of us carries within us the unique calling and purpose that God has for our lives.  We each have our part to play in the redemptive story.  I remember being so moved by that!

God would go on to use that pregnancy analogy over and over in my life.  He has given us promises and spoken prophetic words to us repeatedly that carry this pregnancy theme.  He has placed dreams and callings within Craig and me that remind us of what He wants to do through us to further His Kingdom here on earth.  He has divinely placed within us things that will bring hope – that will point others to Jesus – that will bring new life to those facing spiritual death.

And He has placed those things within each of you, as well.  We are called to establish His Kingdom on earth in all aspects of life!  Maybe He has given you a new way to do business.  Maybe you have a creative idea for the entertainment industry or powerful ways to help other parents.  God has placed you exactly where He wants you to be and has redemptive things for you to do in that place!

I love how another phrase for being pregnant is that a woman “is expecting”.  Because there is A LOT of expectation about pregnancy, isn’t there?  What is the sex of the baby?  When’s the baby due?  What will it look like?  What will labor be like?

Maybe you are like we are – expecting!  Waiting for God to birth what He has placed within us!

And maybe you have been pregnant a long time.  We have been pregnant for 17 years!

As any woman who has had a baby will tell you, the longer you are pregnant, the harder it gets.  Your body gets bigger.  You feel pain and discomfort.  It is challenging to do the things you could easily do before.  You are so excited, but so tired!  You just want the birth to come, already!

Maybe you are feeling that in your life.  You have dreams and hopes that God has placed within you.  But you may feel like a woman who has been pregnant a long time.  You are uncomfortable and in pain.  The waiting is hard, even disappointing.  You feel tempted to give up on what God has put in your heart.

I was feeling this way very distinctly back in 2007.  I was reading a magazine and happened upon an article that would change my perspective completely.

Heidi Baker, who runs an incredible ministry called Iris Ministries, wrote an article about being pregnant with the promises of God.  Here’s what she wrote:

“The Lord spoke to me recently about the church and said, "No more abortions." No more aborting His promises or prophetic words.

No more aborting what God has placed inside us.
He told me to ask the church: "'Who will carry that which I've placed within them to full term? Who will allow Me to stretch them and break them and mold them and cause them to be inconvenienced? Who will allow Me to utterly transform their lives by the shape of the promise within them?'"
I hope and pray you will. I believe carrying a prophetic word is like being pregnant with a baby: The way you walk, talk, move, everything is totally transformed. That has been my experience. It was Mary's experience too.”

When we give up on the God-given dreams and promises that He has placed within us, then we are spiritually aborting what He wants to birth through us – whoa!

Though it can be so very difficult to wait, the beauty of the timing of pregnancy is what it produces in us.  We are enlargened in our capacity.  We are stretched beyond our own selfishness to give our very lives for God’s purposes in our lives and for those He has called us to share His love with.  Much happens in the pregnancy process that makes us ready for birthing a promise!

Because it’s ultimately about surrender, isn’t it?  Trusting God’s word is true, trusting His timing, trusting He will do what He said He will do!  And trusting Him, even in the face of all that we will face along while pregnant, just as Mary did.  She did not allow fear of the repercussions of what God had told her to change her answer.  She would carry what God had placed within her.

She said yes to being pregnant.  And yes to giving birth.

If you are discouraged on waiting for God to fulfill the dreams in your life, and are weary of still being pregnant with promise, remember this truth from Isaiah 66:9:

“Shall I bring to the time of birth, and not cause delivery?” says the Lord.  Shall I who cause delivery shut up the womb?” says your God.

Don’t give up!  God will bring to pass all that He has placed within you!

Reacting Versus Responding

You know those times when you've had a bad season?  Life has just taken it’s toll – bad day at work, too many bills, stress at home - you are weary and tired and everything just gets on your. last. nerve.

So when we're in that bad place and someone just sends us over the edge with their words, we no longer think before we speak. 

With our emotions raw and our sensitivities on high, we REACT.  We don't take the time to think through an appropriate response.  We just blow.  (Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s done this!)

Let’s be honest.  We know this broken reaction never brings peace.  It always makes the situation worse.  It makes an already weary heart even more burdened by creating additional drama and problems.  Things do not get better when we merely react.

Friends, I think the Church in America is in a bad season  We are continually in opposition to all our society values.  We are facing discrimination we never thought we would see in America.  It is hard not to be fearful of how much worse this is going to get.

So for many, in their fear, in their hurt, in their pain, the actions of A&E to suspend Phil Robertson for his comments got on their. last. nerve.

And a lot of people who say they love Jesus. . .reacted.

Did it make anything better?

I agree that these are frightening times that we live in.  But what are we doing with that fear?  What are we doing with how we feel when we hear about judges who are approving discrimination against Christian businesses or read stories about the continual stripping away of Christianity from schools, holidays and government properties?

What if we brought our very real fear, anxiety and pain to Jesus?  We can pour out our deep fear before Him and take in His love and His words.  Would we respond differently?

Could we let Jesus give us His perspective on our culture?  Could we allow Him to bring peace to our hearts as we keep our eyes on Him instead of our gaze focused on the chaos of this country?

Could we RESPOND in the wisdom and love of God instead of REACTING out of fear and anxiety?

Here’s what Jesus tells us to do in Matthew 10:26-22 (The Message):

“Stay alert. This is hazardous work I’m assigning you. You’re going to be like sheep running through a wolf pack, so don’t call attention to yourselves. Be as cunning as a snake, inoffensive as a dove.

Don’t be naive. Some people will impugn your motives, others will smear your reputation—just because you believe in me. Don’t be upset when they haul you before the civil authorities. Without knowing it, they’ve done you—and me—a favor, given you a platform for preaching the kingdom news! And don’t worry about what you’ll say or how you’ll say it. The right words will be there; the Spirit of your Father will supply the words.

When people realize it is the living God you are presenting and not some idol that makes them feel good, they are going to turn on you, even people in your own family. There is a great irony here: proclaiming so much love, experiencing so much hate! But don’t quit. Don’t cave in. It is all well worth it in the end. It is not success you are after in such times but survival. Be survivors! Before you’ve run out of options, the Son of Man will have arrived.”

Church, I think it’s time for us to realize that things are not going to go back to how they were. 

So instead of longing for the old days, what if we ground ourselves in reading the Word of God and find out how to wisely walk in the days we are in?

We can’t hunker down, safely within our church walls and hide.  We were sent for this, meant to love in the midst of this hate.  

Just as Jesus did.

But we can’t react.  We must respond with the heart of God.

Favor With God

Whenever we move toward the Christmas season, my daughter Kelsey and I LOVE to watch the movie, “The Nativity Story.”  It’s a live-action version of the Christmas narrative.  There’s something very profound about putting flesh and blood on the stories we read in the Bible.  Words on the page come to life when we remember again that these were people – just like you and me – living out the stories we are so familiar with.

I am always amazed by Mary.  An angel appears to her, telling her that she, a virgin, will bear a child – and not just any child.  She will give birth to the long-awaited Messiah, the one who will save her people.

The angel delivers this news and Mary says yes.  Quickly.  Right away.  She didn’t hmm and haw.  She didn’t “get back to him after she’d thought about it a while”.  Mary’s immediate reply to what God sent the angel to say was, “I am the Lord's servant. May everything you have said about me come true” (Luke 1:38).

That just amazes me about this young woman.  Mary simply says yes.  She doesn’t allow the implications of what God has said to give her pause.  Because believe me, there were implications.

Mary lived during a time when women could be stoned for being found pregnant before they were married.  So she could face death, at the worst.  At the least, she would face rumor and gossip, being ostracized for this pregnancy.  She would face being misunderstood and doubted.  And she had to face her family.  And her fiancé.

God’s will was going to require everything from Mary.  It was going to cost her physical comfort (all the mama’s out there understand that one!)  It was going to cost her emotionally, socially, relationally – her whole life was about to be hijacked by God.

But ALL of that paled in comparison to saying yes to God.  She wasn’t ruled by fear of what man would think or say.  She was overwhelmed with the honor that God had chosen her.  And she immediately decided her life was God’s, to do with as He pleased.

There have been times in my life when I have known that the Lord has called me to do certain things.  When He has directed me in areas of obedience I need to take or things He’s wanting to accomplish in my life.  And in that moment, I wholeheartedly will say, “Lord, I give You my life.  Do with it what You want.” 

I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I’m praying that prayer to surrender to God’s will for my life, I’m surrendering to what I think God will want me to do – or what I’m hoping He will do in my life.  And that usually includes pretty fantastic things like having enough money to be able to give to people in need or God using me in a significant way in someone’s life.  You know – something grand.

But when I pray those prayers of surrender, God takes me at my word.  And He uses my life. . .on His terms, not on mine.  And sometimes – many times – grand things don’t happen.  At least not right away.  In fact, sometimes it seems like the path becomes filled with difficulties.  Just like Mary must’ve felt.

Rejection, loss and pain were all a part of Mary’s experience as God was using her life to so beautifully bring forth the Savior of the world. And that pattern is pretty consistent throughout the Bible.  People, like you and me, who said yes to God also said no to themselves – their own will and their own comfort.

It’s ultimately a tragedy that we have bought into an idea that when God is at work in our lives, it should look so easy.  We long for the lack of conflict and worldly success.  We think that if God’s in it, things should just fall into place.  Troubles are kept far from our path.  Doors just open. 

But favor from God does not look like a perfect life.  Wealth, worldly success, everyone else’s opinion of us – these are not necessarily the signs of God’s favor.

I’m not saying that there are times when those things do happen.  But I think if we were to ask Mary what God’s work in her life looked like, she would say many difficulties came with becoming the mother of the Messiah. 

In Luke 1:30, the angel told Mary that she had found favor with God.  He was about to bestow a precious responsibility upon this young woman, and He knew she was a woman who would say yes to His plan for her life.  He also knew what He was asking of Mary would require a lot from her.  Yet He asked it of her anyway, knowing His will and His plan were ultimately the best thing for her – and ultimately for the whole world. 

All the difficulties she would encounter were not a sign of not having favor with God.  In fact, she was facing all that she did BECAUSE she had found favor with God.

And it’s funny (and by funny I mean NOT FUNNY AT ALL) how when we take steps of obedience to what God is calling us to in our own lives, our lives can begin to exhibit things that seem the very opposite of favor.

Sometimes it’s that we have said yes to being the kind of man or woman God has called us to be. We’ve committed to loving our spouse the way God loves us.  We’ve determined to respond out of love instead of anger with our kids.  We’ve chosen to be a light in a dark workplace.

But then, somehow, we face rejection for standing for truth.  We try to be patient with our kids, only to have them respond badly (and usually in public!).  We set the alarm to get up early and spend time with the Lord before heading off to work and then face persecution with co-workers who don’t know God.

The difficulties we face each day can seem to be the opposite of the great things God has said He wants to work in our lives. God told Mary she would bear His Son – but then she had to ride a donkey for days on end at 9 months pregnant and give birth in a stinky barn.

If you’re having a donkey, stinky-barn kind of season in your life, then be assured, my friends – you’re in very good company.  Mary, Paul, even Jesus Himself all had days like this on this earth.

Sometimes we need to pause and ask the Lord to remind us that He is at work in our lives.  Difficulties don’t mean God isn’t with us.  And it doesn’t mean He’s not up to far greater things in us than we could even imagine. 

Each of us has found favor with God.  And when we say yes to His plan and our plans falls apart, we need to remember that truth way deep down in our souls.

In fact, like Mary, God may want to birth something through us.  More on that in the next blog…

Thankful

Hello, friends!

You may have noticed that we have not posted as often on our blog this last month.  Our family has been adjusting to Craig’s new job, which has been an incredible blessing.  We are just so amazed at all that God has done for us!

As we look to celebrate Thanksgiving this year, now more than ever, we are keenly aware of God’s faithfulness.  He was faithful when we had no job.  He is faithful now that we do.  He has not changed.  But His faithfulness has changed us.

In the seasons of unemployment, loss and death, I have been angry.  I have been scared.  I have begged God to move us quickly through these seasons.  I have cried buckets of tears. 

And in my crying out to Him, God has taught me surrender.  He has changed my anger to trust.  He has humbled my pride – the part of me that has determined I knew what was best for my life – and He has replaced it with a deep and abiding trust for my all-knowing Savior.

Jesus has loved us deeply and reminded us of it often.  And through every season of our lives that has brought changes, both good and bad, He has stayed “the same yesterday, today and forever” (Heb.13:8).  And I am so thankful that He is the same and we are not – He has changed us!

When Craig and I got married, Pastor Jack Hayford gave us a couple of specific verses at our wedding.  One of them was Philippians 3:13-14:

“No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”

There were days in our dark moments where forgetting what was behind literally meant forgetting yesterday.  That I wasn’t going to allow my trust in God today to be determined by what terrible circumstances had happened the day before.  Keeping our eyes on our precious Savior each and every day is the only thing that has gotten us through.

So this Thanksgiving, let’s choose to forget what’s behind and look forward, keeping our eyes on Jesus.  Our victory is through our unmoveable and unchanging Savior.  Amen!

Fruit and the Finish Line!

Along this difficult journey of unemployment, I have struggled to not focus solely on the “finish line”. Over the last 19 months, I have realized the importance of focusing my heart and mind on what God is doing on the journey each day and not just on the destination I’m hoping to finally arrive at.

It has been crucial to walk a path of daily surrender and to ask God for His supernatural grace for each day.  The Lord richly gives me what I need for today and what it holds – but I will also need a ton of grace again tomorrow!

And as I go day by day, I begin to see my life from God’s perspective.  I begin to value what He is showing me each day, though the days have seemed long.  One of the things He has been faithful to show me is the fruit of this long season.

A few months ago, my daughter, Kelsey, wrote me this letter:

I was so blessed by the truth my daughter was reminding me of – and I was grateful for all God has made real to her ten-year-old heart.  What fruit it is to know God is working in my kids through this time.  That alone is worth all of this difficulty!

So I have learned to see what God is doing day by day.  And then, one day, a “suddenly” happened that changed everything

I am pleased to report that after 583 days without a job, I am no longer unemployed! The Lord created a “suddenly” in my story and a finish line popped up out of nowhere. I have been blessed with an incredible job that I started yesterday.  It will provide me with an incredible opportunity to be blessed more then even before!  Only our God can work out something like that!

The Lord family stands here as a testament to God’s faithfulness.  I love and trust God more than I ever have before.  He has brought deep healing to my heart.  My family is closer than ever.  My daughters have found God in deeper ways for themselves.

Unemployment is not something I would ever wish on anyone.  But having experienced all of the fruit that God has worked each day along the journey, I would not have changed a thing!

Defining the Abundant Life!

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.  “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.  For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9

To fully understand what it means to have the abundant life that Jesus promised, we have to start with the fact that it is God who defines abundant life.  It is not defined by the fulfillment of our fleeting human inventions or desires.  It is a powerful and precious life that Jesus Himself both promised and modeled for us.

See, back in His day, people had expectations about their lives and the way they wanted God’s will to play out for them, just as we do.  The people of Israel were eagerly awaiting the arrival of their promised Messiah.  And they knew exactly who they thought He should be - an earthly King who would defeat their earthly enemies and bring them to freedom and prominence. 

Instead, what they got was a lowly baby, born in a stinky barn.  He was not royal by earthly standards at all.  In fact, the Bible goes so far as to say there was nothing attractive about Him!

“He grew up like small plant before the Lord, like a root growing in a dry land. He had no special beauty or form to make us notice him; there was nothing in his appearance to make us desire him.   Isaiah 53:2.

He came from humble means, was nothing special to look at and would end up being questioned by His own earthly family during His ministry. 

Jesus was persecuted and lied about.  He was rejected.  His cousin was murdered.  In His final moments, His closest friends betrayed and abandoned Him.

And yet. . . 

Jesus was the fulfillment of God’s thoughts and plans for a Messiah for His people.  And He lived an abundant life.  He knew who He was.  Even at age 12, He knew He was to be about His Father’s business.  And though He faced the same humanity that we all do, He knew an intimacy with God that sustained Him, as evidenced by the many, many times He would go away to pray.  He experienced the life-giving power of the Spirit that enabled Him to walk on this earth.  Jesus’ abundant life was found in doing His Father’s will. 

And Jesus knew that we, like Him, would face incredible difficulty and pain on this earth.  He knew we would ache with rejection and grieve in death.  Still He promises us so many things:

-He would carry our burdens and give us rest (Matthew 11:28-29)

-He will give us peace of mind and heart, far beyond what this world can give (John 14:27)

-He wants to bring healing to us – He is a God of miracles! (Matthew 8:3, Mark 1:42. . .and so many more!!)

-He will give abundantly to us:  a good amount, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be poured into our laps (Luke 6:38)

-He told us we don’t need to worry about what we will eat, drink or wear – He will supply all of our needs as we seek Him first (Matthew 6:25-34)

-He said when we ask, we will receive… we will find… and the door will be opened to us (Luke 11:9-10)

-He will always be with us, even to the end of the age (Matt. 28:20).

These are only a few of the promises Jesus makes that show us what abundant life looks like – and there are so many more! 

But we get confused when we see the promises through human thinking instead of God’s way of thinking. 

It is very hard for us to encounter illness and death on this earth and still believe that Jesus promises miracles and healing. 

It is difficult for us to be down to the last pennies in our bank account and believe that Jesus tells us not to worry about what we eat or drink, but that God will supply all our needs.

But here’s another promise that Jesus makes to us:

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33

Jesus does not sugar coat this fact: we will have a lot of pain in this life.  But He also offers promises in the midst of pain.  Hope in the face of tragedy. He has overcome for us!  Do we believe it?  Because that is the definition of an abundant life. 

Abundant life is not merely a life of ease - it is a life of victory.  A life of overcoming.  A life of hope when all looks hopeless because we know Jesus paid for our victory.  We know Who holds our lives in His all-powerful hands.  We can rest in His perfect peace that passes finite human wisdom.  We don’t have to strive when things are falling apart – we can cling to the promises of Jesus, even if our circumstances may be opposite to those promises.

And that kind of abundant living is a beautiful mystery to those who don’t know God!  Why can we find stability in the midst of chaos?  Why can we wrestle with pain and yet still find peace?  How can we deal with rejection and still know that we are passionately loved by our Creator?

The beauty of abundant life is not in its earthly excesses, but in its power for living in every day! 

It is knowing we have victory in Jesus – even when victory doesn’t look like we thought it would. 

It’s in living a life surrendered to Jesus as Lord, and trusting He is with us, for us and moving on our behalf, no matter what our circumstances are.

It is choosing by faith to believe that because of Jesus’ work, we will overcome, even when facing adversity.

I’ve wanted God to provide for us by giving Craig a job.  But His provision for us has looked so different than I thought it would.  His thoughts and plans about this season of our lives have allowed us to feel the love of God’s people, see His miracles and trust Him more deeply as we wait on His timing and plan.

And when we seasons of blessing come – as we know they will - when our barns are full and life is sweet, abundant living means this:

"God has given you this good stuff so that you can show the world a person who enjoys blessings, but who is still totally obsessed with God."  (Francis Chan)

That’s the kind of abundant life Jesus modeled and died for us to have.

We can live in victory because of Jesus!  And when we submit to Jesus as our Lord, we can live surrendered lives that allow God’s will to play out in ways beyond what we can imagine.  We can show those who don’t know Jesus that we passionately love Him and trust Him, no matter what we are facing.  That is the abundant life!

Abundant Life vs. the American Dream

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”  John 10:10

Abundant life.  It’s something that sounds so appealing, doesn’t it?  So fulfilling and hopeful.  It’s something that Jesus said He came to give to us – what a promise!

But as I look around today, I think there’s some confusion in the Church about abundant life. 

My fear is that the Church is being dazzled by the promise – not of abundant life – but of a Christianized version of the American Dream.  That somehow the goal of our faith is not a passionate, intimate relationship with Jesus and living to do His will.  Instead, following Jesus is a means to end - to end up with what I want, my own “heaven on earth”. 

My friends, this is not what Jesus gave His precious blood to give to us.

The American dream is what everyone wants, after all.  We want the 4-bedroom house with the white picket fence.  We want both us and our families to have what we need AND what we want.  We desire, not just financial security, but financial windfall.  (Which we usually want to happen overnight!)  We want to “live the dream”, follow our passions, become successful (and for many, insert ‘become famous’ here)!

I’m not, in any way, saying that these things are necessarily wrong or bad. Many of us have these things and they are a blessing from the Lord!  But what I am saying is that those things fall far short of being the definition of abundant life.  Attaining status and wealth were never meant to be a guarantee of a relationship with Jesus.  In fact, in some ways, those things can be the very enemy of the abundant life that Jesus suffered and died to make available to each one of us.

I’m reminded of the story of the rich young ruler in Mark 10.  He comes to Jesus with an honest question:  “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”  Jesus shared with him, “You must not murder. You must not commit adultery. You must not steal. You must not testify falsely. You must not cheat anyone. Honor your father and mother.”

But the rich young ruler was a rule follower – he told Jesus he had already done all those things, and from the time he was young!  Yet still he knew something was missing.

So he asks again what he must do.  I bet in hindsight, he wished he hadn’t asked.

“Looking at the man, Jesus felt genuine love for him. “There is still one thing you haven’t done,” he told him. “Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

At this the man’s face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.

Fellow believers in America, I want to ask us to see ourselves as the rich young ruler.  We say we want eternal life.  We want salvation.  We want grace.  We want eternity in Heaven.

We want Jesus to be our Savior.  But friends, we aren’t sure we want Him to be our Lord. 

We want the free gift of eternal life.  But we don’t want it to cost us something.

The Bible says that Jesus looked at that rich young ruler, with all his wealth and possessions, and genuinely loved him.  Just as Jesus genuinely loves us.

But Jesus also told him that if he really wanted to walk with Him, he had to surrender everything of his earthly treasures to truly follow Him.

This young man had followed all the rules.  But Jesus wanted more than his actions – Jesus wanted his heart. Jesus wanted to be Lord and Master of this man’s life.  He wanted the young man to surrender what was most important to him on this earth for the all-surpassing Treasure of Heaven.

Jesus asked.  And the rich young ruler said no.

He was not willing to surrender his earthly treasures.  His stuff had his heart.  So he walked away from Jesus.  He felt bad about it – but not bad enough to change his ways or to give up his riches to follow Jesus.

Have you ever experienced that moment with Jesus?  Where He asks you to give up something that you love?  Something that you may have worked hard for?  Something you treasure?

I know I have.  And it has happened more than one time.  Making Jesus the Lord of our lives is a continual choice.

Jesus will let us make that choice.  Notice He did not run after the rich young ruler to try to convince him to change his mind.  He does the same with us. 

But if Jesus is asking me to surrender - if He’s asking me to let go of something I’m holding on to and reach out to take the hand of my Lord and follow Him more closely. . .

. . .is there danger in saying no?  I think that there is.

I don’t ever want to get good at saying no to Jesus.

I believe that Jesus stands today in front of the American church.  He’s looking at us with genuine love.  He knows all the good things that we’ve done and the ways that we’ve obeyed His commands. 

But He’s standing here asking us if we will also give up those things in our lives that we value more than we value Him.  He’s asking us to allow Him to be the Lord of our lives.

Maybe for some of us, He’s asking for riches.  Maybe for others, it’s surrendering our kids.  Maybe it’s our job.  Maybe it’s our dreams.

I invite you to wrestle with the Lord over these issues.  He understands that we are dust and that we struggle to let go of the treasures and rights that we hold so dear.

About three years ago, the Lord challenged me on my right to spend money the way I wanted to.  And let me tell you, this was especially hard when it came to going out to eat.  I really do enjoy a good meal that I didn’t cook! 
Jesus was asking me to let Him tell me how to spend our money.  To let Him decide where our dollars would go.  It wasn’t about the fact that we could afford to go out.  It was about the fact that I had to let Him tell us how we appropriated our funds.

I wrestled with God because I didn’t realize how much I just did what I wanted with money.  And frankly, I wanted to spend it as I wanted to!  French fries were never so tempting to me as they were in that month that I struggled with surrendering this to the Lord.  I know it may sound silly, but it was hard for me to let go of this!

How grateful I am that the Lord allowed me to wrestle this out with Him.  It took – no joke – a month of praying, arguing, and frustration on my part.  But I remember the moment, on my knees, when I gave my rights to our finances to God. 

In hindsight, I am amazed at His goodness in preparing me for this season when our finances would shrink to so little.  Not only was He asking me to be Lord of how we spent, but He was preparing me for a season I had no idea was coming.
That is the beauty of allowing Jesus to be Lord.  If I had said no, if I had walked away from Him – well, this may have all played out very differently.

When we contemplate surrendering to the Lord what we hold most dear, we are only aware of the loss.  Of what we feel that we are giving up and how hard that it is.

But we are trading these earthly things for the treasures of abundant life.  And not abundant life as defined by us, but as defined by God.  And that is a life beyond our wildest dreams and desires.


More on that in the next blog. . .

Lessons Learned in The Garden

My family and I just moved to a different house about a year ago. It is has been a blessing to live here, as it meets each of our needs so perfectly.  One of the best attributes that we have all come to enjoy is the backyard. And it is an area that most definitely needed a great deal of attention in order to be fully appreciated and enjoyed.

You see, this house sat unoccupied for over a year before we moved in. You can imagine the state of disarray and disrepair that had befallen the unattended backyard –no watering, no weeding, no trimming, no pruning. It had truly become a ‘wild’ environment where anything goes. It was our own personal Jumanji and the ‘jungle’ of wild life was ready to be tamed.

Luckily, I had two very willing assistants, my daughters, Meagan and Kelsey, who were ready and able to join me in the daunting task of conquering this wild outdoor habitat. It took us 7 days and 8 full trash cans of debris to whip this backyard into usable condition. Once the space had been prepped and cleared it was time for the real work to begin – tilling, planting and growth.

I used soil, fertilizer, soil nutrients, mulch, flowers, plants, tools, weed killer, bug spray, gloves - everything that could possibly be needed to make this backyard space a perfect outdoor living environment. It took me roughly 4 weeks of hard labor and lots of love to make the transition from wildlife habitat to tamed backyard.

During this labor of love I began to hear the Lord speaking to me about the similarities between all of this physical work and the work of my spiritual life. I know this comes as no surprise to anyone who has been a Christian for any length of time, as the Scripture is constantly using garden analogies to make comparison to our spiritual lives, but these particular lessons that the Lord taught me caught me off guard and made me think.

Allow me to share the lessons learned in the garden (my backyard):

1. Despite all the same work of tilling, feeding, watering and weeding the soil, I could still plant 2 of the exact same bushes 3 feet apart and watch one of them thrive and flourish while the other struggled just to survive. For the first time I saw things from the perspective of the Gardener and realized that each plant requires personal care and attention based on the exact conditions and circumstances that arise from their exact location.

I saw my own life in these plants – in one area I was thriving and growing with just a little effort (i. e. journaling and reading my Bible).  Yet there were other areas where I was struggling when showing the same effort (i.e. dealing with anger or self control).  The challenge was to meet each “plant” or area of my life with the necessary effort and focus that will cause it to grow.  One area might need more prayer, more counsel, more discipline, more focus, where another happens a little easier.

2.  Weeds (a cheap and free alternative that I didn’t want) popped up out of nowhere and grew at a rate much faster than the bushes and flowers (items of worth and value that I did want) that I purposefully planted and desired to grow. 

I saw the physical weeds as a spiritual metaphor. There are always going to be ‘free’ alternatives that cost nothing to initially buy and will show growth at a much faster rate and actually might be attractive. However, ultimately the weeds will consume the ‘real’ plants and flowers as their root systems choke out the foliage that I truly want to grow and flourish.

There have been times when the weeds in my life are when I am searching for the approval of man.  I worked hard to prove myself and show that I was worthy, and at times, it caused my family to suffer.  The instant approval of man can look good, as some weeds can.  But ultimately, it choked out life in me, because I was seeking to please man rather than God.

3.  My yard had endured a full year without water, food or any care at all. Yet somehow I really felt that after 3 weeks of back-breakingly hard work on my part - consistent watering, feeding, and maintaining - that I could reverse the neglect of 52+ weeks and get this environment back into shape. But a long time of neglect takes a long time to be brought back to health and life.

This reminded me of the spiritual ‘quick-fix’ that often gets communicated, either intentionally or unintentionally, that once I choose Jesus and begin to change my life all will go well and my garden will be fruitful. This is not necessarily true!  The Lord showed me that true environment change takes time and that the consequences of neglect and bad habits will not disappear just because I have begun the process of change. It must be sustained over consistent seasons in order to bring about the desired results.

In this current season of struggle there were several things said about me that were very hard to hear. I had to take those things before the Lord and find out what was true and what was not.  And of what was true, what would require life change. So then, after implementing these personal changes for two or three months, why hasn’t everyone’s opinion changed along with it? After all the changes have been made haven’t they? The Lord was using this to show me how although immediate change is good true change will be measured over time and with my consistency.     

Using this metaphor of a garden makes me think about my spiritual life very differently. And begs a few questions:

Am I being purposeful in my spiritual garden or just allowing things to happen?  

Am I truly being the gardener that I have been called to be and doing all the work necessary to ensure personal spiritual growth?

Am I being purposeful and feeding the soil of my soul, asking God to remove rocks, watering the ground, ensuring proper sunlight, and keeping the grounds free from weeds? Or am I being accidental and allowing things to-fall-where-they-may based on the blowing of the wind, receive water only when it rains, and weed only when it becomes a problem?  

I hear the Lord calling us to cultivate a spiritual ‘green thumb’.  Let’s not wait another day to get started!

Doing For Jesus VS. Being With Jesus

Have you ever had those moments where you realize you’re seeing the same Bible verses or story everywhere?

Someone posts if on Facebook.

Your pastor uses it in his sermon on Sunday.

The book you’re reading uses this passage.

I’ve learned that those moments are never coincidence.  That’s the Holy Spirit trying to get our attention!  And those are the three ways He used to get my attention this last week.

The story the Holy Spirit was drawing my attention to is the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42:

“As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”

But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details!  There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

My friends, I am a Martha through-and-through.  I’m a doer.  I enjoy the sense of accomplishment when I have completed a difficult task.  I like checking things off my to-do list!

But sometimes doing is the enemy of being.

Martha placed the priority of what she was doing over being with Jesus. 

Think about that!  She was in the very presence of the Son of God, but what she was doing was more important to her than being with Him.

And let’s not forget that Martha was doing good things – what she was doing, she was doing for Jesus!  She was cleaning, cooking, preparing for Him!  She is doing what she’s doing unto the Lord. 

But Martha missed the most important thing: her doing was keeping her from being with Jesus.

Maybe you are like me:  we use what we do to give us a sense of worth or add to our personal value.  But Jesus wants me to understand my value by being with Him.  He loves me and gives me an identity that is not based on my doing. 

This being doesn’t come naturally to me.  It means I have to quiet my busy mind and my anxious heart.  I am learning to choose to lay aside my doing for the sake of being with my Jesus.  It is there that I find who I really am – not based on what I have done, but based on Who He is and Who He says I am.

Remember what Jesus said to Martha:

“My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details!  There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

We find ourselves doing a lot of things.  But what would Jesus ask of us?  He wants to be with us – in intimate relationship that changes us from the inside out.  What we do can be taken away from us.  But what is formed in us by just being in His presence can never be taken away.

One of the most powerful books I have read on this topic is called “With” by Skye Jethani.  Please, if you get a chance – READ THIS BOOK!  It is life-altering in how we look at being with God.  In “With” it says,

“In other words, it is not our circumstances or behaviors or radical decision that give our lives meaning and hope, but our unity with God Himself.”

We somehow underestimate the power of being with Jesus.  I don’t want to blow past Jesus, just as Martha did – even when what I’m doing, I am doing for Him.  He wants to be with me.  And when I am being with Him. . .everything changes.  I change.  It’s about the being.

Being Me in the Face of Adversity

Have you ever noticed that when we face adversity, loss, injustice or pain, we start to act…differently?

Someone may say, “Are you OK?  You seem down.”  Or. . .

“You haven’t been yourself lately!”  Or. . .

“Geez, lighten up!”  (That one may or may not have come from my hubby!)  J

Those who know me know that I am an outgoing person.  I love to be in on the conversation, laughing, hugging, joking, sharing.  That’s who God made me to be!  I love being with people, offering hope for the future, finding my big God is real and is moving, even in the small, everyday moments of life.

But when challenges begin to come – especially the ones that pull the rug out from under me and leave me gasping for breath – I struggle to still be that same woman.  Suddenly things aren’t so funny.  I’m more quiet and withdrawn.  Hope for the future seems hard to find.

I think the Enemy loves that – when we face trauma, big or small, he wants us to react in ways that are opposite to who God made us to be.  He wants us to forget who we know God to be and how we have the authority in Jesus to move in faith and confidence, even in the midst of adversity.  Instead, it is easy for us to pull away, to nurse our fears and our wounds.

If you, like me, struggle with this, we are in good company.

In 1 Kings 18, we read the story of the prophet Elijah.  This is one strong man.  He is confident when he has heard from the Lord and moves forward in great boldness.  At this point in his story, Elijah is confronting the idolatry that the people of Israel have given into under the reign of King Ahab and his wife, Jezebel. 

So God sends Elijah, as a lone prophet, to challenge the 450 prophets of Baal.  And he boldly puts forth a challenge:  both he and the prophets will build an altar and present a bull.  A real God will be able to set the sacrifice on fire.

Though the prophets of Baal pray, cry out and cut themselves for hours, nothing happens.

Here is Elijah’s response to their efforts:

“About noontime Elijah began mocking them. “You’ll have to shout louder,” he scoffed, “for surely he is a god! Perhaps he is daydreaming, or is relieving himself, or maybe he is away on a trip, or is asleep and needs to be wakened!”.” (1 Kings 18:27)

Elijah is no shrinking violet, is he?  This kid had holy confidence that his God would come through in this challenge!

After the prophets of Baal have failed to call down fire from their god, Elijah then rebuilds the altar of the Lord that had been torn down.  He places the sacrifice on it and then instructs it to be doused with water over and over.  Here’s what happened next:

“At the usual time for offering the evening sacrifice, Elijah the prophet walked up to the altar and prayed, “O Lord, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, prove today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant. Prove that I have done all this at your command. O Lord, answer me! Answer me so these people will know that you, O Lord, are God and that you have brought them back to yourself.”

“Immediately the fire of the Lord flashed down from heaven and burned up the young bull, the wood, the stones, and the dust. It even licked up all the water in the trench! And when all the people saw it, they fell face down on the ground and cried out, “The Lord—he is God! Yes, the Lord is God!” (1 Kings 18:36-39)

What an incredible miracle!  God has used Elijah in a powerful way and the people of Israel are drawn back to the Lord!

That’s the beauty of when we are being who God created us to be.  We have holy confidence.  We are unafraid.  God uses us in miraculous ways and people are drawn to the loving heart of God through us!

After this great victory, Elijah orders all the prophets of Baal to be executed.  King Ahab’s wife, Jezebel, was infuriated by this. 

“When Ahab got home, he told Jezebel everything Elijah had done, including the way he had killed all the prophets of Baal.  So Jezebel sent this message to Elijah: “May the gods strike me and even kill me if by this time tomorrow I have not killed you just as you killed them.””  (1 Kings 19:1-2)

You’d better believe Jezebel would do everything in her power to end Elijah’s life.  And our prophet knows the type of insane, murdering woman Jezebel is.

So when Elijah hears Jezebel’s threats, this confident, faith-filled, just-seen-God’s-miracle prophet stands firm in the Lord and defeats her!

Just kidding.  Elijah runs away.

“Elijah was afraid and fled for his life. He went to Beersheba, a town in Judah, and he left his servant there. Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.”!” (1 Kings 19:3-4)

I told you we are in good company!

Elijah had just seen God at his best – displaying His miraculous works that put the schemes of the enemy to shame.  Elijah had moved in the boldness that God created him to walk in.  He was sure of his God and knew He would come through.

And then a madwoman threatens his life. . .so he forgets the power of the God who had just come through for him and he runs away in terror to a remote mountain and prayed to die.

Do you know what’s amazing about God?  He doesn’t berate Elijah for his running.  He doesn’t condemn him for his lack of faith in God’s protection of his life.

God sends an angel to give him food and sends him on a journey to Mt. Sinai, where God meets him in a very real way.

God knows that we are dust, friends.  He understands the torture of sin on this earth that causes us to run and hide, to forget who we are and Whose we are.

And in those moments, He wants to remind us of Who He is and who we are in Him.

At the end of 1 Kings 19, a few things happen.  First, God reminds Elijah that He is in the still small voice – closer and more intimate than Elijah can even imagine.  Second, God goes on in verses 15-18 to give Elijah a new assignment.  His call to be a prophet to speak on God’s behalf had not changed.  God also encourages Elijah that he is not alone.  He is to anoint Elisha to come alongside him and God also has a remnant of those in Israel who are still faithful to the one true God and have not bowed to idols.

This is just what Elijah needed to again walk as the man God created him to be – a bold leader, fearlessly serving his God.

And these are the things that we need, too.  We need to know that in danger or trial, God is closer to us than we can ever imagine.  That we can bring to Him our fears and doubts and find rest for our souls. 

It is in that time before God that we are reminded of what is true.  We are reminded of Who God is and that He has a plan for us beyond the painful circumstances of this moment.  That the threats of the enemy are not bigger than our God!  The enemy will always try to get us to back down and walk away from who God has called us to be.  But we can, with our identity solid in Jesus, walk in boldness and confidence, no matter what we are facing!

And finally, we are reminded that we are not alone.  God has those who are there to come alongside us and support us.

Where is God calling you, like me, to walk in renewed faith and boldness?  Where is He calling us to be exactly who He has created us to be?  I am praying that we will experience that intimate time with the Father that reminds us of the bigness of God on our behalf and that we can walk in holy confidence in Him, no matter what we are facing!