Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice

When we are the ones facing suffering, it is so encouraging when there are those who will suffer with us.  Who come alongside in the midst of our own pain and grief to be there, to listen and pray, to encourage and give to us in our times of need.  It is the epitome of Romans 12:15, which says, “. . .and weep with those who weep.”

But there are times the Lord has drawn my attention to the first part of that verse, “Rejoice with those who rejoice. . .”  It’s not always as easy as it sounds.

Back in July of 2000, I had a miscarriage.  We had been trying to get pregnant for six months, so we were ecstatic that April to discover we were expecting!  But in July, our world felt like it crashed in.  We went to our 10 week check up, and the doctor could not find a heartbeat.  After having an emergency ultrasound, the doctor’s face told us before his words could:  our baby had died.  We were beyond shocked and numb.  Immediately after it happened, I remember feeling like I would see pregnant women EVERYWHERE – at the mall, at church, walking down the street.  I couldn’t get away from them.  It just felt like a continual painful reminder of my now-empty womb.

Another reminder of my loss was that my beloved sister was now expecting my nephew.  We had been so excited to share our pregnancies together . . . and now that was over.  I remember her telling me later how awkward she felt at first, wanting to share things with me, but being afraid that I would be sad.  And I remember wanting to be excited for her, but grieving over the fact that I was no longer experiencing what she was.

In those days we had a choice – and we chose to live out this verse.  My sister cried with me and grieved over the loss of her niece or nephew.  And I chose to rejoice with her over the life growing inside of her.  This difficult and painful situation could have driven a wedge between my sister and me.  Instead, living out this verse brought incredible peace to both of us.  And I was blessed to get pregnant again very quickly.  So we were soon able to truly share our pregnancies and rejoice together again!

In this long, difficult season we have currently been in, I find myself faced with the choice to rejoice with others again and again.  I have watched friends and family receive some pretty incredible blessings.  Some have received phenomenal job opportunities and promotions.  Some have experienced miraculous provision.  Others have experienced God-ordained favor that has opened doors for them.  And then there are those who share with me how they are rightly-grateful for all that God has given them or done for them.

Now I’m going to be honest – sometimes the conversation that goes on inside my head when I hear their good news is pretty ugly.  Sometimes I feel jealous.  Sometimes I question God, “Why not us?  Why can’t we experience blessing?”  It’s hard to rejoice over someone’s great deal on their new car when our cars are slowly dying and we can’t afford to do anything about it!

Sometimes it seems that seeing what someone else has reminds us of everything we don’t have.   

But that’s where the problem starts, isn’t it?  Focusing on what others have makes me forget to be thankful for what I have.  And there are times when I accuse God of not being as good to me as He’s being to someone else.  

Romans 1:21 says this:

^{“. . .} because that, knowing God, they glorified Him not as God, neither gave thanks; but became vain in their reasonings, and their senseless heart was darkened.”

When I accuse God of being ungenerous with me, I am not glorifying Him as the God that He is – a wildly passionate, over-the-top-giving God.  My reasoning is tainted by my lack of thankfulness.  This verse says that our hearts are darkened by these kinds of thoughts!

But when I change my thoughts and become truly thankful for what I have – grateful to God for the provision I have experienced, the care He has shown me, the abundance His presence brings – then it heals my broken view of God.  I see that He has always abundantly given to me, even when it’s not in the ways that I want Him to do it.  And in that process, it becomes easier to be thankful for what He has allowed others to have, too.

I have found that I cannot manufacture rejoicing with others – only the Holy Spirit can work that in my heart.  I come before the Lord, confessing my jealousy, my hurt and my sadness.  But then I invite Him to change my heart.  I choose to recount – out loud – ALL of the things I have to be thankful for, because I’m the one who needs the reminder.  And then I find God’s healing touch does a miracle in me. 

I remember that He DOES love me, no matter what my life looks like.

I’m reminded of His goodness, even when my life looks bad.

I am able to not just endure the good news of others, but truly rejoice with those who rejoice.   

And then I get to experience the miracle of faith the Holy Spirit deposits in my heart – believing that there will come a day when others will rejoice with us, too! 

With Fresh Eyes

If you are like me, then at least once in your life, you have either participated in, or were an audience member for, a Christmas Pageant performance – the story of Mary and Joseph and the birth of their son, Jesus. Every version of this story that I have ever seen always includes the wanderers from the east, known as the Magi, who have followed this star over a great distance and arrive at the manger just in time to celebrate the birth of the Messiah with the shepherds and to bestow their gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.

We are so certain that this is how the story actually goes that every single Nativity set ever made includes the following characters: Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus, several kneeling shepherds, three wise men (usually with crowns or fine cloaks to differentiate from the common shepherd), an angel watching over the birth, and a series of animals to surround the group to highlight the fact that Jesus was born in a manger.

This version of the story is so ingrained in our psyche that we would consider it a problem if any of these characters was missing or not presented in a theatrical play, felt board Sunday school story, or nativity set production.

The problem is that this version of the story is not accurate. The characters are all correct and the plot line is very much accurate. But the timing of the scene is completely wrong! The scripture is quite clear that only Mary, Joseph and the shepherds are present at the manger during the birth of Christ (Luke 2:15-20). The angels appear to the shepherds in the fields to announce what has happened (Luke 2:8-14). And the Magi don’t actually show up to visit Mary, Joseph and Jesus until a while later and visit them at a home they are staying in Bethlehem (Matthew 2: 1-12).

So how did this happen? How did this traditional story, that everyone is so familiar with, get adjusted and tweaked and yet no one questioned it?

The answer is simple – tradition, familiarity, and convenience.

Somewhere, somebody had to perpetrate this “story change” for the first time and was allowed to do it. The audience accepted it, or didn’t question it, and the change was brought about. Some on-looker must have thought that this merging of the two gospel birth accounts was effective and allowed a more ‘smooth flow’ in the story and copied it. The people who knew the story well must have been okay with the ‘adjustments’ and determined that the overall effect and impact was still present and allowed this change to continue.

Tradition, familiarity and convenience can be a potent combination that creates a numbness and/or dullness to our senses that becomes a breeding ground for inaccurate, inappropriate, or unaware change.

I am reminded of a story about a mother and daughter who were cooking a Christmas ham together in the kitchen. The daughter was observing every move her mother made and was asking questions to better understand why she was doing what she was doing. Everything was making sense until mom picked up the ham and cut off the bottom 1/3 and then through it away in the trash. When her daughter asked why, she paused, scratched her head and then said, “That’s the way my mom always did it”. So the two called grandma on the phone to ask why the bottom 1/3 of the ham was hacked off and just discarded. Grandma’s response was a bit surprising as she said, “I’m not sure. I always did that because that’s what my mom did.” One more call remained to get to the bottom of this mystery. They all called great-Grandma together and asked her the question. Great-Grandma laughed out loud as she provided them with the answer to their quandary, “I always cut off the bottom 1/3 of the ham because my pan was too small to hold the entire thing.”

Traditions can be a tricky thing both in a positive and negative way. Sometimes they come about based on repetition – simply because we saw someone we trusted doing it like that. Or sometimes they come about based on longevity – because that’s the way it’s always been done.

I believe God is calling us to something different, something more intentional. He is calling His people to take a look at things with fresh eyes and to see with a new understanding that can only come from Him.

One area in particular that needs this ‘fresh look’ is our current traditional understanding of personal trials, prolonged tribulations and seasons of difficulty. Currently, we view these things as inherently negative and something “bad” that we desperately need to be delivered from and our prayers reflect that belief. Whether it manifests itself in the form of death in the family, a fight with cancer, a loss of job, a home foreclosure, or the disillusionment of a marriage we cry out to our Maker with a desperate prayer to deliver us from this pain, to remove this struggle, to take away this burden. But is that a biblical perspective?

I came across a series of verses that got my attention and caused me to question my traditional view of pain, suffering and trials:

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”  James 1:2-4

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment.” Romans 5:3-5a.

“So be truly glad …even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.” 1 Peter 1:6-7

Look at the words that are being used here by James, Paul and Peter to describe our response to this pain and difficulty – to rejoice, to be glad, and to consider it great joy.

I find that to be an absolutely shocking response to hardship and tribulation. I don’t know about you but my first reaction to struggle and seasons of difficulty is not one of gladness, joy or rejoicing. It is usually sadness, fear and a heartfelt cry out to the Lord for intervention.

If we look at the verses a little more and with greater clarity we will see that James, Paul and Peter are not asking us to be joyful and happy about the trials and difficulties themselves, but instead are challenging us to see the end result of what these challenges will produce in our lives.

Paul says that these problems will produce endurance and endurance will lead to strength of character and strength of character will lead to hope which will not disappoint. James tells us that these troubles will challenge our faith and when our faith is challenged it will in turn cause our endurance to grow and when fully developed will be perfect and complete. And Peter speaks of these trials being a test to show that our faith is genuine and pure like the process of purifying gold.

It seems that our current tradition of avoiding pain, suffering and trials might be the wrong one. These men of God were challenging us to seek the Father in the midst of the trial and cling to Him for strength and endurance. Our natural desire to avoid difficulty and seek deliverance from anything that might be deemed negative is just that, natural. Instead we need to cling to the supernatural and look to the strength beyond ourselves that can only come from God.

In my current struggle, this season of difficulty has reached 15 months and counting. And during this time the situations and circumstances have not really lessened or turned for the positive. Yet in the midst of this storm and struggle I have chosen to trust the Lord and to truly cling to Him. And now have a much greater appreciation for what Paul called “the peace that surpasses all understanding”. Now instead of praying for immediate deliverance, I ask the Lord to help me endure the trial and learn all that I can in the midst of it. Don’t get me wrong. I am most definitely crying out for an end to the season as soon as possible. But my understanding and perspective has shifted to one of endurance rather then straight deliverance.

I ask that each of us will be challenged to re-evaluate our traditional view of hardship and struggle and allow the Lord to mature us in a way that will cause growth and deeper understanding.

     

Bearing One Another's Burdens

Over the past year I have experienced a great deal of personal struggle in the midst of a prolonged season of trial and tribulation. Through this season, Jen are I are both incredibly grateful for the community that surrounds us – those who have prayed for us, given to us, listened to us and cried with us during these difficult days.  We know we would not have made it without them! 

I have also noticed that those who have chosen to come alongside us as supporters, partners and friends are too beginning to struggle with the length of time and continuing nature of this ongoing struggle.  I’m sure they wrestle with wondering how many times can they ask me the same question – "any news on the job front?"   Even I feel the frustration of having very little to share with regards to an update and recognize that the redundancy of the request becomes taxing – please continue to pray for breakthrough – which thus far has not come.

I almost feel guilty continuing to ask for their support and prayers. I begin to question whether my endeavors are in God’s will or if somehow I am enlisting the help of all these folks for a lost cause that is clearly not in God’s plan.

But then I remember the stories of the Old Testament, the heroes of the faith that endured long periods of struggle before entering into the time of promise and fulfillment. Guys like Abraham, Joseph and David.

Abraham was given a promise of a son, an heir, who would be the source of a family of descendants that would be as numerous as the sands on the seashore. Yet it took 24 years for the promise to be fulfilled.

Joseph was given the dream of power and authority at the age of 17 but did not see it realized until he was 39 and only after experiencing being sold into slavery, imprisonment and false accusations.    

David was chosen as the next king of Israel and rightfully anointed by the high priest, Samuel, but did not experience his rightful coronation for almost 20 years! And during that time of struggle was being chased by the current king to be put to death for no other reason except jealousy.

Why is it that we, as Christians, have forgotten about the fruit of the Spirit known as long-suffering? Why is that we tend to expect God to work quickly with regards to our requests and assume that our trials will be over ‘lickity split’? Where did we get the idea that promises will be fulfilled in the ‘blink of an eye’ and that prolonged struggle is a bad thing?

The scripture seems to communicate something very different. Jesus says, “in this world you will have suffering”. The apostle James tells us, “count it all joy when you fall into various trials”. And the apostle Paul challenges us to “glory in tribulations”.

If our challenge is to walk in the fruit of the Spirit – which definitely includes long-suffering – and to endure trials and tribulations so that our character is shaped, molded and matured, then we must change the way we think about a season of difficulty and instead of praying for deliverance we must pray for strength to successfully endure.

And just as important, we must change the way we come alongside one another and walk through prolonged seasons of turmoil and difficulty. In the book of Galatians Paul puts it this way, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ”. (Galatians 6:2)

I was reading through the book of Romans, specifically chapter 12, and was completely blown away by something I had never truly paid attention to before – the call to stand with our fellow believers:

        “Don’t copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think…don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves…just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other…Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them…Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other…Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality…Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:2-5; 9-15)

The challenge is to truly come alongside a friend, family member or loved one who is caught in the middle of a storm and walk with them, to help bear their burdens through prayer, conversation, encouragement, tears, and most of all presence. Look at the phrases used in the Romans passage – “Don’t pretend to love, really do it; with genuine affection; Be patient in trouble and keep on praying; Be ready to help; Weep with those who weep.”

I know for me this used to be a challenge. Often times because of my busyness I just want to drop in, say hi, get the Cliff’s notes version of how they are doing and what’s going on, possibly pray and then move on. Yet the scripture is calling me to something very different – full involvement.

I mentioned that this used to be a challenge. Now having experienced a prolonged season of struggle, I have a completely new perspective. I now welcome the chance to come alongside. I have a full appreciation for a ‘cold drink’ of fellowship in the midst of a ‘parched desert’ of a day. I now recognize the need for prayer support and simple conversation even if there is no new news or any change in the current situation. Just having someone there to help bear the burden is a tremendous blessing and truly a ‘kiss on the forehead’.

We don’t need to be people who have all the answers, or folks who can fix the problem by just tweaking a few things. Instead, we need to be people who love and want to help by simply being present. Be there to pray. Be there to listen. Be there to encourage. Be there to cry. But most importantly, be there.

Am I Waiting On The Lord. . .Or Just Waiting?

Any time that a difficult season of life lasts for any length of time – and I mean from the day after the season starts to maybe years later – it feels like you’re waiting.  Waiting for answers.  Waiting for healing.  Waiting for God to open doors.  Waiting for God to provide. 

Sometimes you can do things about the circumstances you are in.  And sometimes you can’t.  Sometimes you do everything you know to do – go to the doctor, put job applications in, ask for prayer – and still your best efforts have left you without answers or direction and you find yourself waiting again.

One day, the Lord brought this verse back to my mind:

“But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.  They spread their wings and soar like eagles, they run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.”  Isaiah 40:31

I can tell you what – there are times when I’m waiting that I don’t feel like I have strength at all, let alone fresh strength.

And then the Lord said to me, “There’s a difference between waiting on the Lord. . .and just waiting.”

Hmm.

When I’m just waiting, hoping for the next phone call, open door or long-awaited deliverance from my situation, I’m just wasting time.  I’m in survival mode, just getting through the day.  My thoughts tend to focus on my fears of the future and my actions often betray the angst of my soul.  I may desperately borrow from Peter to pay Paul for fear of not having enough.  I may resort to human answers when I feel like divine answers are lacking.  I may rush ahead through what looks like an open door, only to find that it was a dead end of my own making.  And I never feel fresh strength with that kind of waiting.  I feel tired, overwhelmed, fearful and doubting.

If you read a few verses earlier in Isaiah 40, God speaks to this kind of waiting, too:

“So—who is like me?  Who holds a candle to me?” says The Holy. Look at the night skies:  Who do you think made all this?  Who marches this army of stars out each night, counts them off, calls each by name—so magnificent! so powerful!—and never overlooks a single one?

Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, “God has lost track of me. He doesn’t care what happens to me”?  Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening?  God doesn’t come and go. God lasts. He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine.  He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath.  And he knows everything, inside and out.  He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts.  For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall.” Isaiah 40:25-30

Reading that gives me a different perspective on the fresh strength God wants to give us as we wait on Him. 

When we wait on Him, our hope and expectation is in our mighty God.  God sees all – and He sees us!  He sees our desperation, our anxious hearts, our difficult situations.  We don’t serve a distant God.  He is all powerful, the God of the universe – a universe that obeys His every word.  Nothing causes Him to grow weary and not even the youngest and strongest of men can compare to His all-encompassing greatness and strength.  And He offers all of that strength, care and wisdom to us. . .

-if we wait on Him instead of just waiting

-if we choose to trust and believe that if He’s allowing us to 
 walk this path, He’s got it under His control

-if we get our strength from Him instead of trying to control
 everything in our own strength

I want to share a very practical example of this in our own lives.  A few years ago, the clutch went out on our car.  It happened close to where Craig was working at that time, but not at all close to our house.  A friend volunteered to let us use their AAA membership to get the car towed.  And when we got the car to the nearest mechanic, they said it would cost us $1200 to be repaired.  Now, I don’t know about you, but we didn’t have and extra $1200 laying around.

We knew the easy response would be to put it on a credit card.  But we also knew that we didn’t want to do that.  We didn’t just want to act with what seemed to be a reasonable, human response.  So we decided to wait on God.  We would ask Him to provide.

Now I will tell you, that felt like a crazy time.  We, thankfully, have two cars, so we were making do with carpooling and help from friends.  We were praying each and every day that God would provide $1200.  Close to a week goes by and the mechanic calls us to tell us the car is ready.  And we still don’t have the money. 

The days continue to go by and we’re still praying.  Our repaired car has now been sitting at the mechanic's for a week.  It would have been so easy to freak out.  It would have been easy to act out of our own understanding.  But we knew that God was challenging us to trust Him.  To allow Him to provide for us.  We chose to align our hearts to the truth of the Word instead of choosing to panic.  We chose to rest in Him, allow Him to work, wait on Him.

Our faith was being stretched as we waited on God. . .but it was also being strengthened.  He was giving us strength to trust His provision.  He had already planned a redemptive outcome - we just couldn’t see yet.

I remember the moment when it all came together.  I was sitting at my desk, our car still having sat fixed at the mechanics for over a week.  I was looking at the calendar, and realized that we were in a 5-week month.  Craig got paid every other Friday, and the ways the paydays happened to fall, we were going to get 3 pay checks that month!!  We would have the $1200!!  I literally jumped up from my desk, screaming with excitement!  God had provided for us while we waited on Him.

How many times have we missed the blessings and provision that God has for us because we don’t wait on Him?  How many times have we missed walking in His strength and power because we rely on our own? 

I don’t want to merely wait and then walk in my limited human wisdom.  As we wait on the Lord, we DO get fresh strength for the journey!